Loki´s Laughter - Heathen Humor

Heathen Limericks

There was a confused Asatru
who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in the night
with a terrible fright
and found it was perfectly true.             (by me)


Har said to his Choosers of Slain:
"Come, fill me my mead-horn again.
And go find some seed
and leaves of the weed,
they don´t call me the High One in vain."      (by me)


Two giantess maidens in May
compared the Gods´ feats on display.
They found Thor´s hammer strong
and great Odin hung long,
but for giantess best suited Frey.             (by me)


When Thor went dressed up as a bride,
he really looked pretty that night.
Loki liked him a lot,
the giants were hot,
and Thrym, he was smitten all right!       (by me)


"What's up, you old wanderer bent?"
"Today I'll feed ravens, my friend."
"The blackbirds? That's nice,
they like oats and rice."
"Well, this isn't quite what I meant."          (by me)


A troll-wife told Heimdall: "You know,
your mighty horn is quite a show.
To stand here all day
must be hard for you. Say,
do you think I might give it a blow?"       (by me)

Heimdall said: "My sincere thanks to you,
for your offer's so kind and so true.
But they all want a go,
it's the finest you know,
now kindly go stand in the queue."   (Patricia)


St. Olaf so loved his Lord
That he put Heathen men to the sword
Since that is a sin
What trouble he's in
In *his* Hell he's got room and board!     (Gary)


By all the old sayings of Har,
A viking should never stray far
From his sword and his shield;
His spear he should wield
'Gainst all troubles both here and thar.   (Gary)


A fellow with flame-coloured hair
Once turned himself into a mare;
Though he did it to see
Asgard's walls built for free,
Screwing Giant-land wights is His flair.    (Nick Ford)


The Family Sieg had a pride
in flaunting its victorious side -
til Mund's sword broke in twain,
Linde wept in the rain,
and their son Fried was skewered and fried.   (Jenny Blain)


There once was a Goddess of Wane.
Whose transport was a cart with cats twain.
She cried tears of gold
And was know to be bold.
S & M is both pleasure and pain!    (Crowfuzz)


A big man he put on a dress.
Bridal white covered his head and his chest.
To retrieve his lost hammer,
Thor looked into glamour,
Smiting Thrym during his quest.    (Crowfuzz)


He said I'll go fishing - now look
with an ox-head I'm baiting my hook
with speed and dispatch
World Serpent did catch
and Damn!! he had no pan to cook    (Patricia)


The gallows they creak in the Wind.
Whilst rotting fruit rank there does spin.
A corpse asked to speak,
Does so with cheek,
Offering tips on how to grow thin.  (Crowfuzz)


A Lady called Freya they say
From a dwarf got a necklace one day
she was not afraid
but a bad game he played
Brought three of his brothers to play (Patricia)


Freya at the Dwarf Botique:

The gowns are last year, and forget
The hose made out of Ran's net.
The necklace is nice,
But look at the price,
And hubby'd be really upset.      (Jack)

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